Expat Escapist Gifts

External Revenue Service

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

'See you in two weeks!'

Rising Gas Prices

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"Our immigration lawyer is now living in Guatemala."

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

'They gave me a choice...they would either off-shore my job, or I could keep my job if I moved to India.'

Pension planning for Brexit

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

A Sudden Transfer To The Tokyo Office

Half French/half English.

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

Why do you hate blockbuster movies? Why do you hate documentaries? I don't. I love spending two hours watching the very life I'm trying to escape. Oooh, fun, bittersweet insights into the complexities of living in modern life. Document this! My camera lens isn't wide enough.

"He's in a far better place. It's always nice to spend the winter in Miami."

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Somewhere in France: Reilly has become more French than the French themselves.

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

'I see that you're a fully integrated immigrant to this country.'

'Let's see..I found you on friday, so I'll call you Frasier.'

"Hold it, there's someone on my other island!"