Expat Adventurer Gifts

"I have a flat and need a lift."

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

Down on Bourbon Street...

Emigrating to France.

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"You have arrived at your destination."

"It's all about putting work into the right perspective...and this helps me!"

"I took the road less travelled just to avoid the potholes."

"It's marzipan pigs."

"Our immigration lawyer is now living in Guatemala."

Mechanics, their forks ready, prepare to deice the chocolate off a plane.

I wanted to holiday at home...But in Spain.

On today's Ask Sadie Radio Hour, we discuss one topic: the constant flirtation with fleeing to Canada. Canada has universal health insurance, far fewer killings, much less bigotry, more social mobility, better schools, less obesity, 50 weeks maternity leave, blah blah blah. But that means nothing, because you know what they don't have? Panicky media telling you who to blame for the sky falling! We'll be back, after this message from Depends Undergarments.

'The meaning of life is heads they win, tails you lose.'

Pension planning for Brexit

The incredible journey: why your letter took two weeks to reach Connecticut

'They gave me a choice...they would either off-shore my job, or I could keep my job if I moved to India.'

'See you later - Remember to drink plenty of liquids.'

"Next year, let's go someplace where the locals resent the tourists in a language we don't understand."

Half French/half English.

'English?...do...you...speak...ENGLISH?'

Somewhere In France...The Watsons have just discovered that English is not the universal language after all.

Couple using dogs to pull their camper van.

'You can't find a job?... Have you tried Asia?'

Somewhere in France: Reilly has become more French than the French themselves.

"It's great to be back. I was going a little stir-crazy working all across the country from home."

Dating... In the age of the coronavirus

'I see that you're a fully integrated immigrant to this country.'

'That flight is totally booked, but for $100 I can arrange for you to ride in the lavatory.'

'Sorry, dear. After three hours into the trip, it suddenly occurred to me that I forgot you. I'll come back to pick you up.'

Angel hitchhiker has sign: 'Bible Belt'

'Nice RV!'