Expatriate Life Gifts

'I see that you're a fully integrated immigrant to this country.'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Vaccination Passport

Technological Dependence.

Airport

CEO Escape

The Airport.

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

Rubbish Carousel

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

Emigrating to France.

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

'HA! This time, I thought of my passport! It's right here, in my jackets' inside-pocket!'

Arrivals, departures & limbo.

"In the spirit of compromise, Canada is willing to offer any state of the United States, sanctuary if they wish to secede."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"You do not have a QR-Code."

"Our immigration lawyer is now living in Guatemala."

"Can you folks handle firearms?"

On today's Ask Sadie Radio Hour, we discuss one topic: the constant flirtation with fleeing to Canada. Canada has universal health insurance, far fewer killings, much less bigotry, more social mobility, better schools, less obesity, 50 weeks maternity leave, blah blah blah. But that means nothing, because you know what they don't have? Panicky media telling you who to blame for the sky falling! We'll be back, after this message from Depends Undergarments.

I wanted to holiday at home...But in Spain.

"Honey, is the car filled up? My project here is finished and after my lunch I'm taking a new job in South America."

"Hard to believe that school's almost over."

'They gave me a choice...they would either off-shore my job, or I could keep my job if I moved to India.'

Pension planning for Brexit

'Back in 1956 you were the youngest Briton to cover the Hungarian uprising. You are presently writing your memoirs in Sardinia. First question: how do you feel about the sorry state the London Underground is in?'

"We're watching some Danish television show and convincing ourselves that it's superior to anything on American TV."

Let's do the continental.

A Sudden Transfer To The Tokyo Office

Half French/half English.

English man in Australia during christmas

South America and Europe by phone.

Somewhere In France...The Watsons have just discovered that English is not the universal language after all.

'Do you have a visa?'

"Apparently, all the people who subscribed to our magazine up and left the country."