Stare Connoisseur Gifts

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

"He's an abstract artist."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"It's called 'Sold'."

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Moliere

"Who's the artist?"

C Day Lewis.

Charles Dickens.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Bleak House

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"You have indeed purchased an original Rembrandt. A Ralph Rembrandt."

Pizza and Related Searches.

'Don't worry Sir, being colour-blind is not much of a problem around here...'

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

Sergei Rachmaninov

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

TV listings for the 'small screen'.

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

Yeah, last words are like snappy comeback --- You always think of the best ones after it's too late!

"L'adoration des comiques."

'I've gone from watching movies in Cinemascope to a smart phone...and they call this progress?'

Ross Noble