Star Trekker Gifts

The Lost World: You are Here

"Hey, everybody! Come, look! the odometer is about to roll over another 100,00 light years!"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

Bigfoot tracks...

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

'As part of the company's spirit of openness, I've decided to tell you all a little about the real me.'

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

'Spock's expertise in M&A deal making was key to the formation of the Federation.'

"Does the No. 1 stop here and does that go to Penn Station and can I get a train there to Philadelphia and then how do I get to Walnut Street?"

"What are you growing?"

Projecting Obama

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Trekfan" in Dallas, you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java Cybercafe. I've been trying to get my wife to watch sci-fi with me. But she's so closed-minded about it. Everything that I find so profound and beautiful about it, she finds silly. Stop trying to change your wife into a Xerox copy of yourself! Right now your relationship is based on the kind of incompatibility that leads to resentment, recrimination and bickering. Enjoy that. You'd make a great Kl

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'You just lost points for so easily getting that Geeky 'Star Trek' reference.'

Why Centrist Democrats Can't Get to Bernie Sanders

'... and I'd like a Holodeck right off the living room.'

"Captain, can you come to the transporter room please?!"

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

'Miss Gridley, get rid of this desk and get me a chair like Captain Kirk's!'

I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think. About what, little buddy? Star Trek. The latest movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus. Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives.

"The signal from the Branson-o-scope is getting nearer."

'At least at home we're at the top of the food chain.'

'Go to Daddy!'

"I smell fear - but I'm also picking up notes of blackcurrant licorice."

'How can I be your best friend when you're wearing a $250.00 pair of boots and I'm in my bare feet?'

'Believe me -- there's nothing worse than a clingy Klingon!'

"I think it was Shakespeare who said 'A meadow that isn't just as lovely from the window of a bullet train isn't lovely at all.'"

"I'm not sure if that's William Shatner or Deadpool without his mask."

Bird Lays Eggs in Climber's Helmet.