Star Sign Advocates Gifts

'I don't deny that my client murdered a man, but his moon was in Taurus, folks, His moooooon was in Taurus!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

'So who's smoking?'

Ill next Thursday

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

Man convinced by a flattering character sketch

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

'...and according to our star signs we're perfectly matched!'

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

"Wow! I bet you're a Pisces or Aquarius!"

'Capricorns have all the luck.'

'That's cute. You're a Virgo and I'm a vegetarian.'

'Here's your problem. The software was manufactured in November and your computer was manufactured in February. Sagittarius is incompatible with Aquarius.'

Mercury rising.

Gemini/people

Pisces

"And if I move Mercury over here, all the Libras go nuts."

"So, you're certain that it will be okay for me to travel during December ... "

'I'll need to run a few tests and find out what your horoscope says.'

You must be this tall to bump head on sign.

'Far out! How did you pick me as a leo?'

De ja vu Avenue.