Star Sign Devotees Gifts

"I was actually born in September, but I identify as a Pisces."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

'So who's smoking?'

Ill next Thursday

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

Man convinced by a flattering character sketch

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

'I don't deny that my client murdered a man, but his moon was in Taurus, folks, His moooooon was in Taurus!'

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

Elvis Presley Fan Club letter...

"Wow! I bet you're a Pisces or Aquarius!"

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

"People take it more seriously than 'Please don't pinch the peaches'."

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

'...and according to our star signs we're perfectly matched!'

'Capricorns have all the luck.'

'Here's your problem. The software was manufactured in November and your computer was manufactured in February. Sagittarius is incompatible with Aquarius.'

'I'll need to run a few tests and find out what your horoscope says.'

Mercury rising.

Gemini/people

You must be this tall to bump head on sign.

Street prophet with notice board - The World Ends at Midnight - Have a Nice Day

Pisces

"And if I move Mercury over here, all the Libras go nuts."