Star Sign Follower Gifts

"Sounds good, but let's run in past our lawyers and astrologers first."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Ill next Thursday

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

Lost santa and reindeer.

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

'I'm a Pisces.'

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

'Dr. Hall's horoscope says not to tamper with another person's heart, so he's postponing your bypass surgery until next week.'

Man convinced by a flattering character sketch

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'I don't deny that my client murdered a man, but his moon was in Taurus, folks, His moooooon was in Taurus!'

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

"Tia Carmen, if Gregorio asked you to marry him, go for it! I mean, you've done so much for us. Maybe it's time to do something for you!"

"Wow! I bet you're a Pisces or Aquarius!"

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

'...and according to our star signs we're perfectly matched!'

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

'I think the new convertible is because they're going through a mid-life Pisces.'

'Capricorns have all the luck.'

"Hey Siri, when's the next full moon?"

"And if I move Mercury over here, all the Libras go nuts."

Pisces

Gemini/people

Mercury rising.

'Here's your problem. The software was manufactured in November and your computer was manufactured in February. Sagittarius is incompatible with Aquarius.'