Star Sign Admirer Gifts

Gemini/people

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Moon

Ill next Thursday

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

'It may be just a dog turd too you - but to Professor Brian Cox and me it's a little piece of stardust.' (Based on the fact that Professor Cox is fond of stating that most of the atoms that make up living things was created inside stars)

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

Kim Novak caricature

While no one was looking, Wanda placed a decal with her name on it on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Walk and take Vitamin C Every Day

A star called Gliese 710 is about to pass through our solar system and head straight for earth! Well … by "about to," I mean in about 1.35 million years. And by "through our solar system," I mean through our oort cloud. And by "head straight for earth" I mean it'll pass us by about 13,000 times the distance between the sun and the earth. Is a crowd gathering around me? No. I told you, click-bait headlines only work on the internet.

The universe doesn't really care if we're "having fun." And neither does Bob.

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

'Which one's Ringo?'

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

'I don't deny that my client murdered a man, but his moon was in Taurus, folks, His moooooon was in Taurus!'

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

Olivia Newton-John 1948-2022

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

Bowel & Breakfast.

'All the stars are coming out tonight.'

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

Passed over for a simple seashell, Stella was well and truly a washed up starfish!!

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

Rose Leslie

'That woke me up, too!'

'Listen people, we have to get our measurements right!! This IS rocket science!!'

'Capricorns have all the luck.'

Watch for falling meteors.

'That's cute. You're a Virgo and I'm a vegetarian.'

Street prophet with notice board - The World Ends at Midnight - Have a Nice Day

News headline: stars without make-up!

"I said I'm an astronomer, not an astrologist!"

Jake's Joke Shop. Use Next Door. Use Next Door.