Star-gazing Satirist Gifts

"And if I move Mercury over here, all the Libras go nuts."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Priest's 'To do' list.

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

Star Wars vs Star Trek

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Sock Puppet in Literature

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

'Einstein's blackboard as he left it'

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

The Ten Really Cool Facts

'Even More Disciples'