Stapler Master Gifts

"It's no good Charlie, I'm done for! You've got to go it alone, Charlie. You've got to go on and nail that presentation! Nail it for me!"

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

Remote control wars.

Digging.

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

Competitive tic-tac-toe

'She could've given me a point or two for originality.'

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

"Bullets seem like overkill. What if I shot him with staples?"

Dance Studio: Ballroom, Latin, Line Dancing, Rain Dancing

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Fish Training

'I didn't write the report. I printed it directly from the Internet, but I did all of the stapling and collating myself.'

Man using a sherpa - "Admit it father those stairs are getting too much for you."

Gymnasts

Someone being taught how to conduct an orchestra.

"Since the merger we've managed to engotiate joint strategy, budgets, and client support...But they still can't agree on who has the office stapler."

Little known trivia: Fred Astaire began tap dancing when he had loose floor boards, but no hammer.

"Ooo - nice! What chord was that?"

'Nice toss. But if you want a real tight spiral, try getting your elbow up and throwing right over your ear.'

"Take your positions everybody. He's escaped his handlers and is wrecking havoc. This could be a bad one."

Anders Iniesta

Riccardo Muti

College Football Player Cheat Sheet

"That's Finlay. He's our idea man."

"It doesn't look too promising."

'Now keep your mouth shut. This is our last ball.'

I downloaded the report from the internet, but stapled it myself.

Master inspecting new horse

'Witnesses were shocked to discover, it was not a beached whale, just a giant stapler..'

'Work this over until 'Deficit Spend' sounds like 'Positive Spin'.'

Jeff looked through his WINDOWS at the birds MIGRATING into the CLOUD and realised there was something he had been putting off doing. Yes, it was time to buy a new stapler.