Spinning Master Gifts

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

'It has been revealed that a senior politician will criticise something in a speech. Later they will criticise the opposite of something, just in case.'

A boy and his spin patrol.

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"Here are today's political campaign numbers: spin is up 10%, truth is down 5%, flip flops up 20%..."

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

Holy Ronald Reagan. Do you see who's come into the cafe? Reagan? No, it's Johnny Spinwell. The king of spin! Who? Consultant to politicians, stars, lawyers, corporate execs. No one finds the bright side like Johnny. Pea brain, you stepped on my toe. I got your circulation going to save your heart.

"Get a move on Hardwicke, we need it for the 6 o'clock news!"

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

'But on the positive side, money can't buy happiness - so who cares?'

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"Wow! That's a mean curveball."

"Whatever the results you get from an election it's important to be able to present them in the best possible light..."

'Our village cricket club' - Young spinner cleverly positions the field to take a wicket.

'This is Miss Pavlovna — she's our new Vice-President in charge of spin control.'

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

Now I'd like to depart from my prepared text and speak from the heart...

"Ever read about a politician who didn't need the press?"

"In that speech, forget that line: are you better off than four years ago?"

Golf Myths - The Perfect Game.

'The pro said my swing was out of this world.'

"Rather than monopoly, we like to consider ourselves the only game in town."