Spiral Master Gifts

'Nice toss. But if you want a real tight spiral, try getting your elbow up and throwing right over your ear.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

'It has been revealed that a senior politician will criticise something in a speech. Later they will criticise the opposite of something, just in case.'

"You think this is bad? Did I ever tell you about the time. . ."

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

'She could've given me a point or two for originality.'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

Holy Ronald Reagan. Do you see who's come into the cafe? Reagan? No, it's Johnny Spinwell. The king of spin! Who? Consultant to politicians, stars, lawyers, corporate execs. No one finds the bright side like Johnny. Pea brain, you stepped on my toe. I got your circulation going to save your heart.

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

'But on the positive side, money can't buy happiness - so who cares?'

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"Whatever the results you get from an election it's important to be able to present them in the best possible light..."

"Wow! That's a mean curveball."

Funky Chef 1

"In that speech, forget that line: are you better off than four years ago?"

"What's this Artificial newt's tail? Instant toad urine? No wonder your spells suck!"

"Ever read about a politician who didn't need the press?"

Change of Management - Fortunes Told

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."

I don't care if your friend has a flight simulator. You're going to learn to fly on your own.

'This is Miss Pavlovna — she's our new Vice-President in charge of spin control.'

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

"For goodness sakes, Harold. Stop preening!"

Now I'd like to depart from my prepared text and speak from the heart...