Spin Masters Gifts

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Take your positions everybody. He's escaped his handlers and is wrecking havoc. This could be a bad one."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

'It has been revealed that a senior politician will criticise something in a speech. Later they will criticise the opposite of something, just in case.'

A boy and his spin patrol.

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"Get a move on Hardwicke, we need it for the 6 o'clock news!"

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

"Here are today's political campaign numbers: spin is up 10%, truth is down 5%, flip flops up 20%..."

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

'But on the positive side, money can't buy happiness - so who cares?'

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"Whatever the results you get from an election it's important to be able to present them in the best possible light..."

'Our village cricket club' - Young spinner cleverly positions the field to take a wicket.

"Wow! That's a mean curveball."

Golf Myths - The Perfect Game.

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

"Ever read about a politician who didn't need the press?"

'This is Miss Pavlovna — she's our new Vice-President in charge of spin control.'

"In that speech, forget that line: are you better off than four years ago?"

Now I'd like to depart from my prepared text and speak from the heart...

Exercise bikes passing each other.