Spinmeister Gifts

Middle-aged dreidels

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

'It has been revealed that a senior politician will criticise something in a speech. Later they will criticise the opposite of something, just in case.'

The Truth

A boy and his spin patrol.

Chinese History: Redwash

"There sits the unvarnished truth. Now, how shall we interpret it to our advantage?"

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

Spinochio

"Here are today's political campaign numbers: spin is up 10%, truth is down 5%, flip flops up 20%..."

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

"And that's the way we want you to think it is."

Holy Ronald Reagan. Do you see who's come into the cafe? Reagan? No, it's Johnny Spinwell. The king of spin! Who? Consultant to politicians, stars, lawyers, corporate execs. No one finds the bright side like Johnny. Pea brain, you stepped on my toe. I got your circulation going to save your heart.

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

Beer Club for Men.