Spin Specialist Gifts

Rafael Nadal

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

'It has been revealed that a senior politician will criticise something in a speech. Later they will criticise the opposite of something, just in case.'

The Truth

Chinese History: Redwash

A boy and his spin patrol.

"There sits the unvarnished truth. Now, how shall we interpret it to our advantage?"

'I don't know whether these are good grades or not. The teacher calls them unique.'

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

"And that's the way we want you to think it is."

"We specialize in corporate slogans, business brochures and annual reports to shareholders..."

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

Spinochio

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."