Spiral Master T-Shirts

'Nice toss. But if you want a real tight spiral, try getting your elbow up and throwing right over your ear.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

'It has been revealed that a senior politician will criticise something in a speech. Later they will criticise the opposite of something, just in case.'

"You think this is bad? Did I ever tell you about the time. . ."

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'She could've given me a point or two for originality.'

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

'But on the positive side, money can't buy happiness - so who cares?'

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"Whatever the results you get from an election it's important to be able to present them in the best possible light..."

"Wow! That's a mean curveball."

"For goodness sakes, Harold. Stop preening!"

"What's this Artificial newt's tail? Instant toad urine? No wonder your spells suck!"

"In that speech, forget that line: are you better off than four years ago?"

Change of Management - Fortunes Told

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

"Ever read about a politician who didn't need the press?"

Funky Chef 1

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."

Now I'd like to depart from my prepared text and speak from the heart...

Golf Myths - The Perfect Game.

'This is Miss Pavlovna — she's our new Vice-President in charge of spin control.'