Staple Strategist Gifts

"Since the merger we've managed to engotiate joint strategy, budgets, and client support...But they still can't agree on who has the office stapler."

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

Ideas Ahead of their Time

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

"I think your going to need a business plan."

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

'Don't throw the little silicon chips away -- we may find a use for them someday.'

Before instant replay.

Plane with banner shoots at another.

Otto von Bismarck

'Another invention? -- You are SUCH a geek!'

"...But if you'd led back a heart instead of that spade..."

"Once he invented the wheel, it was only a matter of time before he came up with the food truck."

"Grog understand supply and demand."

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

'Governor game change and his replacement debate moderators...'

Man discovers the wheel, sort of.

Boxing

"Come on, Lucky Lady!"

The 'Gulf' Coast League.

Dummy. Now we have to apply for another grant.

Boxing Trainer: 'And watch out for this fella. He has a huge Left Hook.'

'Don't throw the little silicon chips away -- we may find a use for them someday.'

"Duh!"

Uh-oh, They're evolving!