Stapler Enthusiast Gifts

'Witnesses were shocked to discover, it was not a beached whale, just a giant stapler..'

Jeff looked through his WINDOWS at the birds MIGRATING into the CLOUD and realised there was something he had been putting off doing. Yes, it was time to buy a new stapler.

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Comedy Cafe

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

D.I.Y

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Watch carefully...it hurts when I do this."

'Popovitch, nobody laughed about you until you fell off the ladder and got trampled down by the elephants. I want you to do that every evening.'

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

Pie Charts, Inc.

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"Today, son, you are a man."

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

"She's a natural!"

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

Custard pie ejects from book - 'How to be a clown'

The Deer of Spring.

"I'm not normally a big fan of slapstick comedy, but seeing ol' Hotchkiss there..."

'Wait while I slip on something more comfortable.'

He hurt himself taking out the Christmas tree? But it's February! That's not all, he tripped over the jack-o-lantern!

"It's no good Charlie, I'm done for! You've got to go it alone, Charlie. You've got to go on and nail that presentation! Nail it for me!"

"Ready...."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

Hostile takeovers in the novelty business.

Lumberjack Christmases.

An early turning-point in old Hollywood...

"He didn't slip on even one of those peels..."

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 8