Steeple Enthusiast Gifts

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

King Kongs first christmas

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Rubbish and Everest

Fairytale prince and princess

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"It's the battering classes"

"And to think he started in accounting."

Beware of the Dragon

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

"Friend or foe?"

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."