Steeple Enthusiast Gifts

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

King Kongs first christmas

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Rubbish and Everest

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

Fairytale prince and princess

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"It's the battering classes"

Beware of the Dragon

"And to think he started in accounting."

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"One of you go see who's at the door."