Standardized Tests Gifts

Blew off my S.A.T. prep class.

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

Ethics exam cheater.

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"We thought this was more realistic."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

Good Luck with your finals.

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

'Thank you for not guessing.'

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"Ted doesn't test well."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"Smart Arse"

Mash-Test Dummies.

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

Study more to pass more tests.

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"Remember, there are 4 types of questions on the Advanced Placement tests: multiple choice, document based, essay and 'How would you like to drive big rigs for a living?'"

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?