Standardized Testing Gifts

"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"

'Principal McWit, I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized last month. Just tell me how many students passed their standardized tests?'

Ethics exam cheater.

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

"We thought this was more realistic."

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

Good Luck with your finals.

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

'Thank you for not guessing.'

"Ted doesn't test well."

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

Study more to pass more tests.

"Smart Arse"

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

Mash-Test Dummies.

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"Remember, there are 4 types of questions on the Advanced Placement tests: multiple choice, document based, essay and 'How would you like to drive big rigs for a living?'"