Standardized Testing Gifts

"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"

'Principal McWit, I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized last month. Just tell me how many students passed their standardized tests?'

It's true your father did get a 4.0 in high school. Of course, that was on the act.

Ethics exam cheater.

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

Civics Class: Mock Election Today. Oh, no --- Another multiple choice test!

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

"We thought this was more realistic."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

Your granddaughter is studying for SATs. Oh really? Ahem! What did you get on your practice tests? Drool.

Good Luck with your finals.

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

'Thank you for not guessing.'

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

"Ted doesn't test well."

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"Smart Arse"

Mash-Test Dummies.

Boys score better than girls on SATs. Practice tests. That's so unfair. Don't stress! They're pointless tests with idiotic questions that are useless in real life. Ah!

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

ACME Condiments Quality Control. The boss wants to know if you're going to pass the ketchup.

Study more to pass more tests.

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"