Standardized Test Rebel Gifts

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack -- Career Duck

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Civics Class: Mock Election Today. Oh, no --- Another multiple choice test!

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

"We thought this was more realistic."

Good Luck with your finals.

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

'But Father, I don't want to study space time temporal theories in relation to collapsing pulsars, I want to do my own thing!'

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

'Instead of 'Sincerely Yours...' say 'This message was approved by Harlow Rains.''

"What next?" "Don't tell me."

"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"

'I've been doing well in school lately, so I think I'm entitled to some dumbing down.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"Remember, there are 4 types of questions on the Advanced Placement tests: multiple choice, document based, essay and 'How would you like to drive big rigs for a living?'"

'I think you are over-reacting Mr. Brown. You were charged a mandatory basic parking fine. I don't think we need to talk about taking your case to the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg.'

I wasn't cheating...I was getting a second opinion.

School Boundries.

'It's so cool we have another test today.'

"Why can I only cross 'right' or 'wrong'? What about 'I don't care', 'I don't give a damn' or 'How should I know'?"

It's true your father did get a 4.0 in high school. Of course, that was on the act.

So your IQ is 176, Peel? - 'Yeah!' - 'That's higher than Einstein.' - 'Cool.' - 'Do something amazing.' - 'I don't know how.' -

'That's curious, Mr Van Der Pummen...up to question 2084 you seem entirely normal, but then after 2085 you suddenly go to pieces!'

Ambulance towed from a no-parking zone.

Blew off my S.A.T. prep class.

'Being home-schooled means I can be a runaway and a dropout at the same time.'

Bassoonist cherub.

'Wee Orlando just tagged his first bus shelter.' 'That's ma boy.'

'I just love this new rule allowing you tie up obnoxious coaches.'

Desert crawler sees 'No Crawling' sign.

PSATs. Standardized tests are sooo lame! Yeah. Who thinks in multiple choice? At least they're over! We can finally answer more important questions. West Fester High School. What are you doing tonight? A. Rachel's party. B. The movies. C. None of the above.

"School is a lot like life. It's hours and hours of boredom...interrupted by the occasional moment of panic."

"I don't do well on standardized testing. I blame it on standardized tests."

'My S.A.T. scores were too low? That's it?'