Standardized Testing Season Gifts

Dogs are in line waiting to take the 'S.A.T' test..

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

"Remember, there are 4 types of questions on the Advanced Placement tests: multiple choice, document based, essay and 'How would you like to drive big rigs for a living?'"

'Their'll bee a reel seen when Dad gets a lode of this sea minus.'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack -- Career Duck

The first day of spring has finally arrived! The only think I'll miss about winter is curling up under a warm blanket straight out of the dryer on a frigid night.

Exam Questions Foretold

It's true your father did get a 4.0 in high school. Of course, that was on the act.

"This doesn't feel right..."

"You're not distancing."

Footballer pushes a giant football up the hill.

Blew off my S.A.T. prep class.

"I ran out of vacation days, so I didn't fly south this winter."

"When Santa went electric they either diversified or got furloughed."

"So this is why you ate your spinach and wanted seconds at dinner!"

Eco club can't start a garden at school because everything ripens in the summer. That's funny. Our school calendars started so kids can help on the farm. We should run schools all year-round. Students have a solution, too! We're picking a different eco-project.

Falling Down: Horror Movies for Leaves

Just 4 Chopping Days Until Thanksgiving.

"My God, do you realize the year's half over?"

'No, not until Christmas. Until we close down due to lack of customers.'

I like spring okay, except for the mammoths shedding.

Rival Santa Clauses: 'You may have little, more helpful elves, but my Rudolph as a VERY shiny nose.'

Warmer Weather.

"It's so nice just to be dead for the summer."