Stand-up Fan Gifts

Virus Standup

'This is a song my therapist told me to sing whenever I get the urge to harm people who won't pay attention to me.'

Biographies. Don Rickles for Dummies

Tommy Cooper.

Billy Connolly

Bob the comedy elephant,thanked the hyenas for being a wonderful audience.

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

Still dazed...Lester is confused as to which came first, the chickens or the eggs?

Laugh Laff. If laughter is the best medicine, this guy's a placebo.

"Stop me if you heard this one."

Harry Hill

Michael McIntyre.

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Canine Comedians

Jokes machine.

David Mitchell

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'Hey, how about that charity deduction rule change?'

"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'I just ascended and boy are my arms tired.'

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

Eddie Izzard

"Have you noticed nowadays how often comedians resort to cussing to get a laugh? A******s."

Tom Allen

Billy Connolly

Dani Rovira

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"She's come a long way, and I know you'll receive her act in the spirit in which it's intended. Yes, folks, it's Mimus Polyglottos, the Texas Mockingbird!"

"Wow, great crowd tonight! Thanks for coming out! Hey, has this ever happened to you? Yesterday I was just doing my thing, minding my own business, and suddenly the peasants got unruly."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"Tough crowd... I suggest you try the hyena club."

"She really knows how to belt out a song."

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"