Start-up Fan Gifts

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Canine Comedians

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

Jokes machine.

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

Centaur Sprinter

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

'I haven't been feeling funny lately doctor.'

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing."

'I believe you were first.'

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

Still dazed...Lester is confused as to which came first, the chickens or the eggs?

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

Comedians believe there is a future in laughter.