Stairlift Sprinter Gifts

'Oh he's sporty all right - he can be up and down on his stairlift in under ten minutes'

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

Runner Bean...

Runner's High, Runner's Low

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

"How many times have I told you? Stop playing on the stairs!"

“I’m not out of shape — I’m just not used to running so much.”

Dead Scientists Climbs DNA Stairway to Heaven.

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

Cheetah in at the start of a race, thinking: 'Why do I have to keep proving myself?'

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

"When it came to running, Kevin was second to none."

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

"You won't gain weight drinking beer here. The bathroom is three flights up."

Little girl running alongside athlete asking for autograph.

'Oh well, never let it be said you can't handle your booze!'

'Spinout!'

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

Weight Loss Center on top of huge stairway used to get to the top.

The coward's way out.

"No, you come in on four."

"I volunteered for this position because it's good for my cardio."

Running Stairs

'I can't find my keys!'

Huge, steroid taking sprinter.

"I got tired of being the 800-pound gorilla cliche. My goal is to be the 300-pound cliche."

"Stop! You're killing me!"

Man out of breath, Breathtaking Views

'Apparently it was only his fear of heights that stopped him from jumping.'

'She's in training for the Olympics. The 100 metre sprint to the checkout.'

"I'm starting a fitness program. Since we work on the 90th floor, I'm nor requiring all employees o use the stairs."