Staircase Conqueror Gifts

"It's good that he can manage the stairs at his age."

Rage.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Planting a Flag on the Summit

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

"Let's take it again from the top...but this time with more fillings."

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

Time to put away your presents. I don't have room. You said you "needed" a new jacket. I do! My old one's too small. Donate it. I would. But I can't get it out of my closet.

'My, that's some cavity' (words echo on)

It's too hard to clean my closet. Take out everything. Throw them into "keep", "donate" or "toss" boxes. Ok. Done!

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

Computer Gamers.

Medieval soldiers on a bouncy castle

"By the way, some of us have begun to feel that 'Because it's there' is not reason enough."

'In your defense, I see you're not very bright. Most folks take the elevator.'

'That was a tough one.' Dentist fell on the ground

Attila is No. 1! We heart Attila! Hooray for Attila! Attila is the man! Yell your king my warriors and I want his castle! Who shall I say is calling?

No U Turn.

"Ha ha, very funny. But seriously … there’s a pub at the top?"

"I wish I'd put in a stair lift."

Speleologist

'E=ma2. E=mb2...'

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

Tandem Mountain Bike/Gnarly Stump.

"Whoopsy."

Law Judge playing video game called 'Call of Jury Duty II'.

"The classics can be so intimidating."

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."

"Come on! You can do this!!"