Corporate Ladder Conqueror Gifts

Businessman with multiple diplomas - "Do you think you can buy me some competencies too, Dad?"

Who says I've slept my way to the top?

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"I hate performance review season."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

My brilliant career

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

Like many of those in tribicles, Mitch dreamed of one day moving up to the real deal.

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

"You are aware that we try to make money here, yes?"

Why am I running?

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

'I fetch, but it hasn't helped my career any.'

"Firing is too good for you, Mike. I'm going to give you MY job instead!"