Corporate Ladder Ascender Gifts

'Don't worry, you'll grow with the job.'

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"I hate performance review season."

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

My brilliant career

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

Like many of those in tribicles, Mitch dreamed of one day moving up to the real deal.

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'Remember - Reilly's Chairman of the Board, but Henderson's the Alpha male.'

"You are aware that we try to make money here, yes?"

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

"I'm beginning to think they replaced the ladder of success with a greased pole."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson of the Board. One of you will be President.'

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

'I fetch, but it hasn't helped my career any.'

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."