Corporate Ladder Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm expecting a big raise this year or, at the very least, to keep my job.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"...mpressive C.V.but we have an internal candidate in mind."

"The pay is nothing to boast about but..."

'This is the prime site.'

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

'Welcome aboard, Mr.Olsen. I want to tell you about how this company works.'

"Since past performance doesn't guarantee future results I suppose it's conceivable you're correct."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"I hate performance review season."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

My brilliant career

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

Like many of those in tribicles, Mitch dreamed of one day moving up to the real deal.

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

Texturing the Walls

"You are aware that we try to make money here, yes?"

"Ms. Ray, you're getting a promotion! You're no longer my Gal Friday. You're now my Gal Saturday."

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

Ladder of Success.

"Firing is too good for you, Mike. I'm going to give you MY job instead!"