Stage Craftsman Gifts

Stage producer.

'They all want to play the star.'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

Arts and crafts

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Lovely dovetail."

'Mum! Come and see the coffee-table I've made with my new tool-set!'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

I love embroidery

Waiting for retirement.

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'Hello, I'm your understudy.'

Bad Interview Technique

Multitool Knife

Education and Apprenticeships

E=Emcee Squared

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

The Sculptor

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

'I had a cough at the time!'

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

"Any chance you could do it at a higher resolution?"

Luthier

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

Little boy blows a larger bubble than glass blower can.

Nick Offerman

Darn you, you stupid hammer!