Staff Development Gifts

'Before I answer your question, let me briefly review my list of strategies for dealing with difficult people.'

Has somebody taken the staff development and training budget again?"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

That shows business confidence.

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'These are job perks.'

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

Busy office.

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Brainstorm in progress.