Staff Development Gifts

'Before I answer your question, let me briefly review my list of strategies for dealing with difficult people.'

Has somebody taken the staff development and training budget again?"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

That shows business confidence.

Multi-tasking.

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Busy office.

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Brainstorm in progress.