Staff Developer Gifts

'He likes to introduce variety to his mentoring communications...'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"Nation-building never works."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

The Computer Bore

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

The DaVinci Code

Robotic Man

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'Can our software do that?'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

Multi-tasking.

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'These are job perks.'

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Back to work...

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

Mozart on a computer,

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

Driverless cars rage.

Working Late

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

I should probably get out more.

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Friday

Gadget geek.