Stadium Seat Clinger Gifts

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

Church for sports worshipers.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

A man cheers

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

The commentators want to run the officials...

Birds doing the 'wave'.

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

"I'll need a three iron."

"Won't be a minute Boss, just nippin' to the karzie."

Football drummer

'Since our stadium was built with taxpayer support, I regret to inform you that all incentive and signing bonuses must be returned.'

'How many times I gotta tell you? Don't pay any attention to which camera has the red light on!'

"She seems nice. A little clingy... but nice."

A baseball game is played in an ancient Roman arena; the emperor gives a thumbs-down signal, declaring a player to be out of the game

'...We will, we will rock you. ...The end. Thank you.'

'Wow...I've got to admit, Stanley...when you said you always got the best seats I thought you were just blowing smoke.'

'I'm always on the edge of my Twickenham seat...I can't afford the full business debenture rate.'

Footballer's Wages

'I love high-definition TV!'

A typical Newcastle fan.

Sorry, this game is not available in your area

'This is where his experience begins to pay off.'

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

'Why can't we have a simple warning track like every other team?!'

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

"What sports fan are you?"

"We'll alternate the windbags with the hard-of-hearing."

'What'd I miss?'

Sports fans wear the number of their seats in the stadium.

MLB Teams Capatalize on Longer Games Caused by Appeals.