Stadium Specter Gifts

Guilt Day at Shea.

Church for sports worshipers.

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

A man cheers

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

Vendor selling testosterone.

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"So that's where you were last night."

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'He lived and died for golf.'

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Football supporters.

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

'...I mean, kicked out of the game is serious, but kicked off the planet?'

'Oh come on, I'm sure she'll still be there after Match of the Day's finished...'

Arch of Triumph Save

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

Fan-Centric Stadium

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

George Best

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

Football Stadium

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

'Don't worry about the condition of the pitch, I've got my best goat working on it.'

"Won't be a minute Boss, just nippin' to the karzie."

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

Super Bowl 2012: The NFL finds a way to appease displaced ticket holders.

Fresh hamsters on a stick.