Stadium Seat Clinger T-Shirts

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

Church for sports worshipers.

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

A man cheers

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

Birds doing the 'wave'.

The commentators want to run the officials...

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

Football drummer

"I'll need a three iron."

'Since our stadium was built with taxpayer support, I regret to inform you that all incentive and signing bonuses must be returned.'

"Won't be a minute Boss, just nippin' to the karzie."

A baseball game is played in an ancient Roman arena; the emperor gives a thumbs-down signal, declaring a player to be out of the game

'How many times I gotta tell you? Don't pay any attention to which camera has the red light on!'

"She seems nice. A little clingy... but nice."

'Wow...I've got to admit, Stanley...when you said you always got the best seats I thought you were just blowing smoke.'

'I'm always on the edge of my Twickenham seat...I can't afford the full business debenture rate.'

'I love high-definition TV!'

Footballer's Wages

A typical Newcastle fan.

'This is where his experience begins to pay off.'

Sorry, this game is not available in your area

"What sports fan are you?"

'Why can't we have a simple warning track like every other team?!'

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

"We'll alternate the windbags with the hard-of-hearing."

'What'd I miss?'

Sports fans wear the number of their seats in the stadium.

Baldo's Life is Sweet Moment: Finally figuring out all the words to the national anthem.

'I told you these were great seats, but there is a downside. If you need to go to the restroom...'