Stadium Builder Gifts

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

D.I.Y with dad.

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'All right, Dave, you've smelled the flowers. Now get back to work.'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Birds doing the 'wave'.

Caution: use only under child supervison

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

"As far as form following function, it's a brilliant design for a business center."

Fan-Centric Stadium

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you installed it.'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

'Wow, forts really do come with cavalry!'

'Since our stadium was built with taxpayer support, I regret to inform you that all incentive and signing bonuses must be returned.'

'Don't worry about the condition of the pitch, I've got my best goat working on it.'

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

'These things always taste better at the ballpark.'

'I hired a local guide. He knows every square inch of this stadium...'

'Everything else was sold out. Stop whining about the end zone seats.'

'A puff of cloud! Quick, close our expensive new roof!'

"I hate it when he starts shedding"

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

'Of course, that's just a 'ballpark' figure for the cost of building a new stadium.'

Acme Crazy Straws

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

'I told you these were great seats, but there is a downside. If you need to go to the restroom...'

'Finial, spire, roof...agnostic'