Stadium Builder Pillows

"Of course, we had to put the new stand together ourselves."

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

D.I.Y with dad.

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'All right, Dave, you've smelled the flowers. Now get back to work.'

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Caution: use only under child supervison

Birds doing the 'wave'.

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

"As far as form following function, it's a brilliant design for a business center."

Fan-Centric Stadium

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you installed it.'

'Wow, forts really do come with cavalry!'

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

'Don't worry about the condition of the pitch, I've got my best goat working on it.'

'Since our stadium was built with taxpayer support, I regret to inform you that all incentive and signing bonuses must be returned.'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

'These things always taste better at the ballpark.'

'I hired a local guide. He knows every square inch of this stadium...'

'Everything else was sold out. Stop whining about the end zone seats.'

'A puff of cloud! Quick, close our expensive new roof!'

"I hate it when he starts shedding"

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

"Who'd have thought a crease in the plans would result in an award for outstanding architecture?"

Acme Crazy Straws

'Of course, that's just a 'ballpark' figure for the cost of building a new stadium.'

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

Never underestimate the power of parents in groups. Built by the Stonehenge Playground Committee.

No More Waiting Around

"And these huge screens improve the views dramatically - they show constant replays of 1966."