Stadium Developer Gifts

'It's a long shot, but there's always a chance we can get a sports franchise.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Birds doing the 'wave'.

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"Sold his air rights."

'I can count on one hand the number of contracts that I didn't finish on time.'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

'It started out as a little tree house for the kids and we kept adding on to it.'

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

An exaggeration of estate agents

Home Sweet Second Home.

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

How to Build a Bungalow

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."