Stable Savvy Gifts

'Holmes, I keep telling you ... you've got to be more assertive with that horse.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

August is corporate earnings restatement season.

'I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters...that'll be £15,000.'

Cleaning the Horse

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Charging to a 10,000 Dow?

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

'Mom, I think it's time I graduated to a full size horse.'

"Batteries for environmentally friendly electric cars. . ."

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

'Take ten years off the top.'

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

'I can just make it out. She's saying 'call my hairdresser'.'

'I'm trading futures in green sheets.'

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

'Hey, dad! Look what I got in trade for your golf clubs!'

Stock market news.

Designer labels "I'm sorry, but I think I've forgotten your name."

'I've fallen and I can't giddyup.'

Horse Muzzles

Parking meter holdup

"The good news is that the stock market is doing much better."

Harper takes steps to ensure Canada's arctic sovereignty.

"You're new around here."

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

"Have you ever wondered what I'd look like in skinny jeans?"

'Gee, Doctor Dresher, you have a wonderful way with horses....

'Maybe a tad too much eye makeup.'

'What do you call a blonde doing hand stands? A brunette.'

Didn't that use to be Hogan's scrap yard?