Stable Savant Gifts

"Injuries are a tricky business. Break a leg and they shoot you; twist an ankle and they put you out to stud."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

Determined not to make a fool of himself Mitch keeps practicing every dance move for the Annual Office Christmas Party!

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

"In an unexpected development, the market behaved rationally today."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Company Share Price - "The god news is we've become a very attractive takeover target, sir."

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

'Now might be a good time to interject the GOOD news to the stockholders!'

Man climbing line chart, planting profit flag.

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

'Sometimes I think the market is trying to tell us something, Ferguson...'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

Wall Street Red Ink.

"The dove certainly helped, but GPS really nailed it."

Justice for a heckler.

'Always bought low.'

'And this is where they switched to High Definition.'

'Now this is the kind of office decor I like.'

"Turns out that 'sleeper stock' I sold you was actually in a coma."

"The lost password department's that way."