Squirrel Trainer Gifts

"The hardest part was training the squirrel."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"Nuts to you, too."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

Litter Tray Training

'He's not supposed to go out.'

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

"Have you been throwing a lot of poop lately?"

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."