Squid Appreciator Gifts

'The squid seems a bit underdone.'

"Hmmm...Looks like I've got an oil leak."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

Pets.

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

"You've changed."

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

'Little is known about these amazing creatures, as there have only been a few live sightings, by giant squid scientists. Despite previous beliefs, they are actually a land animal, as the fins and respiratory system are removable.'

"It's like the other ones! I saw a shark! I saw a shark!"

'Ocean sounds won't be heard, so that we may bring you a paid commercial program on offshore investment opportunities.'

"Do you have anything that removes ink stains?"

"I'm beginning to see signs of the recovery everywhere."

"Put the oven on dear, I've picked us up a lovely leg of salmon."

Squids Rule

Whale blowing soap-bubbles.

'Don't you find watching people relaxing?'

"Well, you're not itsy-bitsy to me."

Fish Workout

'You're dancing horribly! Where's that nimble little squid I saw at audition?'

'We're design classics son - unchanged for hundreds of millions of years...These new gimmicky things come and go.'

'No, no, no! I said squids, giant squids.'

"How can you just sit there, wrapped in your own safe little world, when you know there are millions of squirrels out there?"

Another Timmy Pet Fail!

Tricks with a goldfish

'Oh my God! It's Billy the Squid...!'

"...98, 99, 100! Ready or not, here I come!"

Pygmy giant squid

"Wow! One of the side-effects is a squid on your head. How is that possible?!"

'I'm afraid there's not much I can do. You're an invertebrate.'

"Hi! - We hear that this is a 'nation of immigrants,' right?"

"I think I was a caterpillar!"