Squeaky Toy Aficionado T-Shirts

"It's not so much the chewing that offends me, it's the mocking of our voices."

'My ringtone is a real attention getter. It sounds like a squeaky toy.'

"Sorry, but the will clearly stipulates that Rex gets the vintage squeaky-toy collection..."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Build your very own conflict of interest!

The Rubber Ball Company

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"Werewolves of London..."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

Toy plane with pilot eject.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"It's his emotional support animal."

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

Teddy and friends.

Childlike love

One!

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

What can I play?

Jack in the box on strike.

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

Toys

Help me!

Remote Control Duck

'...and, of course you get a company car.'

Inaction Figure

Typical bored kid of the New Millennium

"I told you he'd enjoy that more than a Gameboy."

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'