Squeak Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I like the soothing squeaking of the dessert cart wheels better than any background music.'

"Tong!"

"It's not so much the chewing that offends me, it's the mocking of our voices."

"These door hinges squeak."

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

'Never underestimate my ability to slink'

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

"You know, my unearthly moans are a lot less terrifying when you're chomping a squeaky toy."

'Trainers for actually playing sport in.'

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

"...and this is Sheila. She's my main squeeze."

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

"Of course, ladies and gentlemen, the optimum endorsement would be from the Crips and the Bloods."

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

"There's that squeak again."

'Would our taxes be any cheaper if we lived in a sketcher?'

'Something comfortable and yet… unexpected. I like to run amok.'

Parts of a Bagpipe

'He wears his spikes on the inside.'

Squeaker Trophies

"They're no longer on squeaking terms."

Snail Shoes

"Sorry, but the will clearly stipulates that Rex gets the vintage squeaky-toy collection..."

How bad can the economy be with this many styles of sneaker socks?

Earthquake Research Society. The meeting's over already? Yep --- it was called to order at 8:00 and adjourned at 8:02 by a motion from the floor.

'My ringtone is a real attention getter. It sounds like a squeaky toy.'

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'I want some shoes that squeak.'

"Something comfortable with good arch support and a cushioned heel. He wants to run away from home."

Dead ducks

He squeaks when you chew him. Then he gets quiet … Too quiet.

"And now, our motivational squeaker."