Squash Punster Gifts

'No, I'm his cousin, Sasquash.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Tree house.

I think you're ace

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"We both need to get away and unsidewind awhile."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

'Hopefully this will not have a negative impact on my dinner.'

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

Surfin' the web.

Mobile Holmes.

"What's the big deal with posting food pics on social networks?"

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

'I'm not the first visionary who's been accused of extreme optimism.'

'Come on, just a few more. I need to boost my metabolism.'

'I hope you get an ice cream headache!'

Granny's Old Tyme Prostitute Chocolate Chip Cookies

"Duffer, Penny, Bailey & Coco. Attorneys at Gnaw."

'The other hand.'

"The hardest part is admitting you have a problem."