Paw-some Punster Gifts

'Hopefully this will not have a negative impact on my dinner.'

"I never thought that Rex from no. 81 wold get 'emasculated'..."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Dog Walker

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

Bitter End

Hamlet.

'No, I'm his cousin, Sasquash.'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

His Other Shtick

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

'Play dead.'

Surfin' the web.

"He's a shiitake."