Gym Punster Gifts

'Come on, just a few more. I need to boost my metabolism.'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Tree house.

I think you're ace

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"White Collar Prison"

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

"Negative net force puts object in motion. Positive net force will be applied when Digby apologizes for eating my yoghurt."

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

His Other Shtick

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'Play dead.'

Surfin' the web.

Mobile Holmes.

'No fair cheating, Mr. Carpenter.'

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

The Stand-up Petrophysicist...