Gym Punster Gifts

'Come on, just a few more. I need to boost my metabolism.'

I think you're ace

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Tree house.

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"White Collar Prison"

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

"Negative net force puts object in motion. Positive net force will be applied when Digby apologizes for eating my yoghurt."

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

His Other Shtick

'Play dead.'

Surfin' the web.

Timmy Gets Solitary.

Two particles outside Hadron Collider; 'Fancy getting smashed this evening?'

The Stand-up Petrophysicist...

'No fair cheating, Mr. Carpenter.'

"The power's out again? So what do you do when that happens?"