Spuddy Buddy Gifts

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"Not now, Oliver."

Bike Rides

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

'Relax, dude - I got your back.'

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

'Come on dear, don't be shy: This little she-chameleon just wants to play...'

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

"Some day, we should bait our hooks."

'You reek of crackers.'

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

"Well dudes, gotta go. My honey needs a lot of attention."

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

'I refuse to believe that Winkie was a terrorist.'

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

'I guess the transplant went ok - I just got a love letter from my new liver!'

'Fred, we've been together too long!'

Signs you may be friends with a sheep....

'This plumber you recommended...mate of yours, is he?'

"When did you start laughing at DOG jokes?"

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

"Don't attack surfers! You're giving us all a bad name and encouraging culling!"

You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies? I said "If you spend a year working out." Well, in this past year, I've run 18,000 miles and burned tens of thousands of calories. Accidentally leaving your phone's pedometer on all year doesn't count, little buddy. You didn't say that beforehand. Loophole. Maybe next year.

Begin by removing all surplus mud.